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| breathing deeply again |
| 10.31.04 (7:08 pm) [edit] |
|
An update on my friend...I recieved word early this morning that hissurgury went better than anticipated. The damage to his heart was able to be repaired with a laser making the surgury much quicker and less invasive. It was such a relief to get that news. It was like I could finally breath again. The past 24 hours really put a lot of things into perspective for me. Things in our lives can change in the blink of an eye...we never know when or how. I am making it my mission now to never leave any "loose ends" with the people I care about. I want to make sure that I always say what I mean...and mean what I say. I want those people I love and care about to always know just how much they mean to me. So for all you that I consider my tblog family, (and you know who you are) know that I love you all and appreciate so much what you each bring to my life. Some of you I speak to off of here..some not. But each of you brings your own unique perspective to my day and always offer me support when I need a shoulder. Thanks for all you do for me. Love you much... ~miss kendy |
| Pacing the floor |
| 10.30.04 (12:29 pm) [edit] |
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It's been such a long week for me full of anxious moments. It's so hard to be away from people that we love and care for. One of my dearest friends was told last month that he was to have an open heart surgury within a month. Since that time he has been in and out of the hospital several times for episodes with his heart. Wednesday evening he and I were chatting on web cam...the first time in many weeks..I could see how ill he really was. It was so difficult to see this young man of 25 looking so frail. He looked at times during our chat as if he were in great discomfort. I kept asking him if perhaps he should leave..get some rest. He kept [i]insisting[/i] that he stay there in the cyber cafe and talk with me. He said being there with me made him feel better. We continued our chat until he suddenly just slumped from his chair. I could tell he had gone to the floor. I recieved no word until the following day when his friend called me to say they had rushed him to the hospital and that the drs decided they must do the surgury within days rather than when they had scheduled it. Today was the surgury. I have paced the floor all day..waiting..jumping every time the phone rings. I keep remembering what we were saying to each other when he fell from his chair. He was saying he loved me so much..I was about to say I loved him too. But he was already gone. Now I am left wondering have I told my friend enough times how I care for him? So many [i]WHAT IFS[/i] go through my mind today as I wait. I look at all of these goofy pics of us together and I pray we will have time to take more. I feel helpless right now..and I keep pacing..waiting..watching that damned clock knowing that with the time difference he certainly must be out of surgury now. [i]He has to be ok...there are too many things I want to say to him.[/i] |
| How do I love thee? |
| 10.29.04 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
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Sonnets from the Portuguese XLIII How do I love thee ? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints,--I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life !--and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death. ~ Elizabeth Barrett Browning |
| we dance |
| 10.28.04 (4:56 pm) [edit] |
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We dance round and round this flame that seems to grow more intense with the passing of each day A well choreographed ballet of desire that pulls at our souls Pierces our hearts and makes our minds turn only to thoughts of each other We dance round and round this flame Fueled by distance and circumstance Far apart yet always feeling each others presence We dance We dance We love ~klm 10/28/04 |
| Living Big |
| 10.28.04 (4:04 pm) [edit] |
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[i]Borrowed from Katheryn Loubley..The Ohio State University Fisher College of Business[/i] [b]So What Does Living Big Mean Anyway?[/b] "Living Big isn't about making lots of money or having a Texas-sized house. It's about having an intoxicating vision, about daring to look at the miracle of life without shrinking back. Living Big means having the nerve to find your own drum beat, sing your own song. Unfortunately, many of us still march to the same high school fight song we learned decades ago. Or we sing the same old jingle that Madison Avenue invented to keep us buying their products. In case you hadn't noticed, there are an awful lot of forces out there striving to keep us in line. Living Big means getting out of line. It means dancing the jig when others are waltzing. It means saying you care when you're not sure how the other person feels. It means leaping out of the limited, soul-numbing boxes we've all been squeezed into. Living Big is being brave enough to claim your own truth, being bold enough to read the poem that's stamped across your heart. Out loud so everybody can hear. All of us have the responsibility to find that passion that makes us want to get up on the table and dance (Grout, 2001, p. 4). " Reference: Grout, P. (2001). Living big: embrace your passion and leap into an extraordinary life. New York: MJF Books. [b]Are you living big?[/b] |
| Joy in Bean Town! |
| 10.27.04 (7:45 pm) [edit] |
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REDSOX RULE!!!!!!!!!! And my cousin is the shiz :twisted: making the final pitch..and the assist for the final play! The curse is broken!! may the Babe rest in peace.
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| tonites the night!!!! |
| 10.27.04 (7:48 am) [edit] |
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Tonite is the night! I can feel it in my bones... The Sox are gonna finally put that curse to bed once and for all. [b]Get out the broom baby!!![/b] :shock: Go Redsox! |
| RIP |
| 10.25.04 (12:37 am) [edit] |
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Condolances to the Hendricks motorsports family.... What a tragedy to loose 10 people in this way... My thoughts and prayers are with their familes. |
| birthday boy |
| 10.24.04 (6:10 pm) [edit] |
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[i]I nearly forgot to mention....:shock:[/i]This weekend my sweety [b]Roadie[/b] is celebrating a birthday!! He claims to be hibernating with the curtains drawn and eating icecream... Personally I am not buying this story :twisted: Anyways...stop by his blog and wish him happy happy!! [b]HAPPY BIRTHDAY Roadie....may you ride hard and ride long..8)[/b] (and while you are at it maybe drop over and ride me ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!) :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: |
| My cousin Keith |
| 10.24.04 (11:51 am) [edit] |
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I am such a baseball fan. Always have been. I am as you all know a loyal Redsox fan (which ain't easy folks!)...so imagine my joy when my cousin Keith signed to play in bean town. It was like 10 holidays in one! *grin* Keith Foulke is one of the most dynamic relief pitchers in baseball. He is amazing to watch..has a killer change up. Great heater too 8) Watching the World Series is always good fun but when your cousin takes the mound it puts a whole new spin on things! You hold your breath for every pitch...you notice that when he makes a certain face he looks just your dad..LOL. Keith was the winning pitcher last night for the Sox...it made the win just so much more sweeter!! [i]Luv ya cuz!![/i] |
| tblog...meh! |
| 10.23.04 (1:12 am) [edit] |
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Well I had some really profound thoughts to put down... ran here and WOW guess what..Tblog is down again. Well shit. So much for creative spontanaity. :x bite me tblog. |
| Who's your daddy?!!? |
| 10.21.04 (12:52 am) [edit] |
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[b]WHO'S YOUR DADDY!![/b] [i]indeed[/i]... REDSOX RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!! :twisted: |
| Island Artist!! |
| 10.20.04 (10:51 am) [edit] |
| I want to say a [i]BIG Thank you [/i]to [b]Island Artist [/b]for my new header!! She is the goddess of art 8) She cooked this up for me last night. Thanks Jen!! Luv you lots!! [i]And go visit her blog if you haven't..she rocks![/i] |
| standing still |
| 10.19.04 (5:22 pm) [edit] |
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Am I living? Am I [i]really[/i] living??? Or am I just going throught the motions of life while time is slipping by one day at a time until one morning I wake up and its *ding* [i]sorry game over[/i]. Why am I doing it this way? What is keeping me from doing what I know I want to do...why am I not on that plane right now on my way to Dhahra? It's the one place in the world I want to be right this minute. My heart is there..my mind is there..so what holds me here where I am so unhappy. Perhaps I am using "parental responsibility" as an excuse to hide my fears about chasing my dreams and desires. I am so torn between the two...I love my cildren. They are my joy..but my soul screams to be with the one I love. I ache. I hurt... and still I cannot move. |
| I like |
| 10.16.04 (1:23 pm) [edit] |
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Things I like: autumn leaves fresh apples puppies brownies baking fresh sheets lip gloss writing poetry candlelight bunny slippers old sweat pants old jeans chanel lipstick in Red helping a child hearing a child laugh watching the rain on the window teddy bears a rare steak a good merlot football baseball nascar music watching my kids grow up getting flowers giving flowers getting snail mail driving with the top down someone brushing my hair cuddling snow watching the fire in the fireplace toasting marshmellows hot chocolate on a cold morning making breakfast in bed for that someone The way that someone smells right out of the shower The way someones eyes sparkle when they laugh quiet nights in crazy nights out my shoes (my precious shoes!! lol) havamel browning keats old musicals hindi movies coscos my laptop when something works right the first time! enough for today...... |
| i hate lists |
| 10.15.04 (2:08 am) [edit] |
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[i]At Rinna's urging I am trying to make my own catalog of myself...[/i] 1. I have a photo on my desktop that I tend to stare at during the day 2. It's a pic of someone I love with all my heart 3. He's clear around the world from me. 4. It breaks my heart 5. I often think about dropping my life and running there. 6. My favorite color is sky blue 7. My favorite taste in the world is chocolate. 8. Good chocolate..not cheap shit. 9. I spent as much money on shoes as I did rent last year. 10. I am obsessed with shoes 11. I never wear socks unless it snows 12. I can't stand my toes if they aren't painted 13. they are always done in some shade of red 14. I only wear Shalimar or Coco Chanel 15. When I bother to wear lipstick it is RED 16. I like to paint 17. I do it badly 18. I don't care 19. I like to sing 20. I do it well 21. I sang in a band 22. we made 2 cds 23. we broke up due to "creative differences" 24. it was really because sharon was a self-absorbed bitch 25. Now I sing with the symphony chorus 26. I am muslim 27. Today begins Ramadan 28. People are always suprized to learn I am muslim. 29. I am always suprized by their suprize. 30. People always assume I converted for a man..for love 31. People are always wrong. 32. I converted because I searched for a personal truth 33. I found it. 34. My parents hate that I have become muslim 35. my parents are democratics 36. and bible thumpers 37. they dragged me to church 3 times a week as a kid 38. I hated it 39. I always had questions that could not be answered logically 40. They would punish me for asking the hard questions. 41. My mother and I never got along 42. We became civil when my daughter was born. 43. My first memory of my mom is getting back-handed 44. I said my braids were too tight 45. she split my lip with her ring 46.she told me not to tell daddy. 47. I never told him 48. I was always depressed as a teenager 49. even tho I was popular and was a cheerleader 50. a straight A student 51. I felt a strange sadness always 52. I never dated a boy from my school 53. My prom date was a grad student at OSU 54. my parents were insane 55. who lets their 16 yr old date a guy that age? 56. My daughter went on her first date recently 57. I feel old 58. I have bipolar disorder 59. I hate it 60. It is not a glamourous disease 61. yes it is a disease..like diabetes or cancer 62. My son inherited it. I hate that he will go thru many similar life experiences 63. I hate that we must both take pills everyday 64. If we didn't have insurance our meds would cost me $758 month 65. I would have to work a second job to pay for them. 66. This time last year I was in the hospital 67. I had a manic episode 68. followed by the big crash 69. I decided to drive my car under a truck 70. I missed 71. The irony was I was on my way to see the shrink. 72. I write poetry 73. I have a website with over 50 poems on it 74. I never tell anyone where it is 75. I was Miss Summit County in 1982 76. I competed in Miss Ohio 77. I was 3 rd runner up 78. It paid for a year of school 79. I still volunteer for the Miss Ohio program 80. I am on the board of directors for Miss Summit County 81. I always wanted a pony 82. my parents wouldn't buy me one 83. so I took a job at the racing stables near our home 84. I shoveled shit 85. and exercised pacers 86. I sing in the car 87. loudly 88. I dance when I cook 89. I collect merlots 90. I like shiraz 91. I like to walk in the rain 92. dance in the rain 93. listen to the rain on the roof 94.I ahte to grocery shop 95. I would rather take a whipping first 96. I write letters I don't send 97. I write letters I put on my blog 98. I tell people I care about I love them every day. 99. I am afraid they won't know how I felt should something happens 100. i hate lists. :wink: leave me some love... |
| Sea blog |
| 10.12.04 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
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A number of Primary Schools were doing a project on "The Sea". Kids were asked to draw pictures, or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results, and put together some of the comments that were funny, and some that were sad. Here are some of them. The kids were all aged between 5 and 8 years. * This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6) * Oysters balls are called pearls. (James age 6) * I don't like the sea. It makes me sick on the ferry. (Peter age 6) * My goldfish died. Why? (Katie age 5) * If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7) * I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6) * A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of it's head.(Billy age8) * My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs.(Millie Aged 6) * When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7) * I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails.How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6) * I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6) * Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7) * My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish. (Laura age 5) * When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6) * When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun. (Lauren age 7) * A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5) * When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors (Valerie age 6) * Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8) * On holiday my Mum went water ski-ing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 7) :wink: Gotta luv 'em! |
| my kiss! |
| 10.12.04 (12:28 pm) [edit] |
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Courtesy of Rinna..thanks gurl! Geez I sound delightful don't I??? :P |
| I'm nuts! |
| 10.12.04 (12:03 am) [edit] |
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I recently met a young canadian man, who, upon spending some quality time with me proceeded to inform me that I was "[i]nuttier than squirrel turds"! [/i]:shock: Now just what does this mean??? -Do I stink? -Am I actually full of nutty goodness? - Or am I just crazy?? :? |
| life |
| 10.08.04 (9:50 am) [edit] |
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A dear friend (luv u swamy) sent me an email today and in it there was a quote that I thought very worthy of sharing.... [b]Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. We all need to live life to its fullest each day.[/b] 8) |
| a study in song |
| 10.03.04 (10:53 am) [edit] |
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Well as usual Rinna had something so cool I simply had to pinch it for myself LOL..so ty Rinna and the one you got it from. I enjoy a good challenge so choosing a band and their song titles to describe my self seemed fun...here goes! [b]Kendys pick[/b]: [i]OutKast....The Love Down Below/SpeakerBoxx[/i] [b]Are you male or female[/b]: [i]Behold A Lady[/i] [b]Describe yourself[/b]: [i]Prototype..[/i] [b]How do some people feel about you: [/b][i]She lives in my Lap..Love in War..Unhappy[/i] [b]Describe an ex bf[/b]: [i]The Rooster[/i] [b]Describe your current bf[/b]: [i]Where are My Panties?...Take off your cool[/i] [b]Describe where you want to be[/b]: [i]Last Call[/i] [b]Describe what you want to be: [/b][i]She's Alive[/i] [b]Describe how you live[/b]: [i]Hey ya![/i] [b]Describe how you love: [/b][i]Happy Valentines Day..The love Down Below[/i] [b]Share a few words of wisdom: [/b][i]Take off your cool[/i] This is a lot harder than it looked!!! :wink: |
| first dates and grey hairs |
| 10.02.04 (9:21 pm) [edit] |
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As I sit here writing my baby is on her [i]first real [/i][i]date[/i]. :shock: How did this happen??? I woke up one morning and suddenly she is in high school and making the cheer squad. Last week she came home squealing in delight that not only had she been nominated for freshman homecoming attendant but [i]ANDY[/i] (her long time crush) had asked her to the dance. Oh what could I say but ok?? :roll: So here I sit...growing grey hairs...lol. She won attendant .. Hope she is having fun. :wink: [i]FOOTNOTE: She returned home right on time...when asked how the dance was she replied with a big sigh "Perfect."[/i] |